Feeding the poor: What does love look like?

Today I was in South City St. Louis running some errands when I ran into a woman named Pat. I was talking on the phone when she asked me if I could give her some money to help feed her kids. Coming off the summer in CityLights and wanting to pursue justice, I told her I would take her to ALDI and buy food for her, then run her home. She took me to ALDI farther into St. Louis where I bought $100 worth of groceries for her, which consisted of 4 or 5 bags of potato chips, 3 boxes of fruit snacks, only a pound or two of hamburger, frozen hot wings, two heads of lettuce, flour, sugar, oil, and a bag of apples once I suggested it... and there was more, but this gives you an idea. Then I took her home all the way back on the North side of St. Louis where I helped her carry her groceries in and met her 5 children and some neighbors.

And by the time I got to Messhuggahs coffee shop to hang out with friends, I knew I was angry...but why? So I talked to my friends about and discovered a couple of things. 1) I was taken advantage of. 2) I really hated that fact because I really just want to love people well, and know how to do that well...

To be continued...

Stone for bread

I just got off the phone with my mom, who told me that someone just made an anonymous donation to my dad so that they can fix my van, which apparently was in worse shape than I thought. This is not the first time He has done something like that this summer. On June 30th, I had over $700 of fundraising come in towards CityLights, a good portion of which was a donation completely unexpected from my grandfather. A couple weeks later, God provided a place to live once CityLights was over. And now...the donation from someone back home towards fixing my car...

So why is still hard to trust Him. Last night I prayed and said, "Prove yourself to me," and in the same prayer said in the same fashion as the father with the sick son in Mark, "I believe, help me in my unbelief!". So here He is proving He was taking care of something I didn't even know about until today. So shouldn't I be leaping for joy? ...in two weeks, I'll need a new home in St. Louis...by Thursday of next week I'll need to have my application for substitute teaching completed & turned in...somehow I have to pay bills...somehow I have to get back to Iowa and when I do figure out how to get around all the places I need to go...

"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
--Matthew 7:9-12


Abba, help me to trust that you will provide for my every need & give me good gifts. Bring me to a place of freedom where I no longer live in my heart as an orphan in poverty, but instead as a beloved daughter of yours who has everything she needs. Give me new eyes to see that, Abba. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Note to my sisters & brothers...

This blog is for you. We shared an experience this summer that could forever change the course of our lives, and I want to continue to journey with you, even if we are hundreds of miles apart. So...this is for you...to see how God is at work in my story...and a place for you to share how He is at work in your story. My hope is that this will help us stay connected in a way that won't happen via letters or phone calls, but that can actually enrich the times we do get to talk on the phone or in person. So, here is my invitation to continue to journey with me...thanks for walking beside me.