a new gospel?

So, I've had some time off recently because I've been at my home in Iowa waiting on my car getting fixed (which is a different blog...). I've read 'From Fear to Freadom' by Rose Marie Miller, 'The Shack' by William P. Young, and 'True Story: A Christianity Worth Believing In' by James Choung. All of them have spoke into, confirmed, or furthered the things that I learned this summer in St. Louis...and what I've been learning is, there's so much more to the story than I was first told...

Now, I think that God has been revealing and showing this to me for a little while now, but I feel like my head, my heart, my hands & my feet are still trying to take it in...because right now it feels like it's something on the outside trying to get in, and instead I hope it becomes something on the inside that overflows out.

This past year a friend asked me, "so, if [Christianity] isn't just about being a good person, what is it about?" And I said, that's the question you need to find out the answer to.

...Later, I thought about that question and I realized that though I knew that wasn't just what Christianity was about, I'm not sure I knew how to answer that question. And, I eventually realized I had a similar question about the gospel. Is it really just about Jesus dying for us so that we get to go to heaven? I mean, don't get me wrong, that's an awesome thing that Jesus did for us, but what about right now? I mean, the God I know wouldn't just want us to sit around and wait for heaven to come while living out the American dream as the top 1% of the population in education and economics... I mean, what would be the point of Jesus coming and doing all that he did if all it meant was we get to go to heaven "someday".

...So here's what I've learned:
be warned these thoughts may start out organized but end up random trains of thought :)

1. the gospel is about restoring things back to the way they were meant to be: keyword: RELATIONSHIP. In the beginning it was good. It was all good. Man had perfect relationship with God & nature. There was no oppression, injustice, or evil. RELATIONSHIPs existed in the context of love & service to one another instead of power & control. Man & Woman were on equal ground & man was not using the earth for his own selfish needs, but taking care of it.

Jesus had to come so that the holy spirit could come & restore man's relationship with God. You see, when adam & eve ate from the tree, they chose independence, to be separate from God. It brought death because God is the only source of life.

The gospel isn't about expectations. Sure, it hurts God when we choose something other than him or one of his children gets hurt, but he isn't ever disappointed by us. He knows everything we did, are doing, and are going to do, so why would he be disappointed? Disappointment comes when expectations aren't met. And here's the kicker: God does have expectations of us...he just LOVES us. And is excited every time we choose Him. This revelation in particular has been sticking with me and showing up all over in my life. It's changing so much of the way I think, act, and most importantly LOVE.

More to come later...

Will you move mountains?

I was talking to Mom today and decided to tell her about some of my frustrations and difficulties I'm having right now, and I said to her, "I feel like such an inconveniense to everyone, but I'm not. I need help." ...Pause...I waited...and in the pause I realized what I was pausing for. I wanted my mother to say, "You're not an inconvenience to me." And when I told her later that I needed her to come to des Moins to bring something and to take me home, I didn't want her to tell me all the obstacles in the way. I wanted her to say, "Okay, there's a lot going on, but I'll find a way because you're my daughter and you need me." And by saying that, she'd be saying, "I love you," and "You're worth it."

God's promise of love seems to be one that means he'll move mountains to come to my aid, and show me He loves me...but I don't know that love from my parents...and I can't see that kind of love form Him right now in my situation.

So, God, will you move mountains to provide for me and show me your love just because I am Your daughter, and all this because of your sons death? Will you move the mountains to show me the love that is different than what I know? Please, Abba.