I was talking to Mom today and decided to tell her about some of my frustrations and difficulties I'm having right now, and I said to her, "I feel like such an inconveniense to everyone, but I'm not. I need help." ...Pause...I waited...and in the pause I realized what I was pausing for. I wanted my mother to say, "You're not an inconvenience to me." And when I told her later that I needed her to come to des Moins to bring something and to take me home, I didn't want her to tell me all the obstacles in the way. I wanted her to say, "Okay, there's a lot going on, but I'll find a way because you're my daughter and you need me." And by saying that, she'd be saying, "I love you," and "You're worth it."
God's promise of love seems to be one that means he'll move mountains to come to my aid, and show me He loves me...but I don't know that love from my parents...and I can't see that kind of love form Him right now in my situation.
So, God, will you move mountains to provide for me and show me your love just because I am Your daughter, and all this because of your sons death? Will you move the mountains to show me the love that is different than what I know? Please, Abba.
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2 comments:
Yay! I do LOVE your writing style. Looking forward to more to come.
Oooooh, midtha-tan-tahshona! You're making me cry. May you know that love. May you know it deep in your bones.
Lord, please, please, PLEASE give my sister this assurance. I've been there; man, have I been there. I sure don't want you to stay there. It's so hard to go one sometimes when it seems like your feelings are denying the truth you're supposed to be believing.
Lord, help. More grace. More mercy. God loves you, and so do I.
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