A couple of months ago I started writing a song. I was writing the song to process the question: what is love? What does it really mean to love another person? Well, if you live in our culture, listen to our media or watch movies (most particularly romantic comedies), then it's all about love at first sight, and how do I get my needs met, what's in it for me (among other things)?
The other day I was talking about this with a friend. She said she had just studied the old testament again this last semester at seminary, and could she that God's love is very different than what is portrayed in our culture. I hadn't thought about it enough to have an answer, so I asked her what she had seen. She said she saw the difference as commitment. God is committed to his people no matter what. No matter how we treat him, no matter what he gets out of it, etc. He doesn't give up on us.
Since then I've continued to think about it, to think about scripture and to see whether that's true, and I believe that is the biggest difference. Our individualistic culture says, well, if it's not good for me right now, then I'll just get rid of it. When things get hard it says, just give it up and do something that's easier.
We humans are so good at getting things out of balance. Yes, the most noticeable difference between our culture's understanding of love and God's true love, is commitment, but love is more than just that. God also delights in us (Zeph. 3:17) and the part that he made he calls good (Gen. 1:31). So, our culture evelates the "delighting in" part and in my opinion cheapens it (see part 2) to be simply about liking them. I think we do that because it's easier. It's easier for it just to be about whether we like that person or not and whether they meet our needs. Jesus actually talks about that in Matthew 19, when some pharisees came to test him and asked him about divorce. Jesus says to the pharisees that the only permissable reason for divorce is marital unfaithfulness. The disciples, upon hearing this say, well if that's the case, then why get married? It seems like what they're saying is, "well, if we can't just get out when it gets hard, then why do it?" What Jesus ends up saying (paraphrase) in response is, you know not everyone can handle this. If you can, then that's good but some aren't able to. (this doesn't mean one is better or worse, just that some are meant for marriage and some are meant for singleness).
To bring this back around, I'll repeat what I said earlier. Our human-nature seems to be to pull things out of the balance that is inherently from God. God's love is both commitment & delight in us. Our culture elevates & cheapens the delight part & forgets about commitment. It should be both. It could be easy for us to swing the other way and elevate commitment, but we mustn't forget about the delight. Commitment without the delight is just as unbalanced as delight without commitment. Commitment without delight has no life. Delight without commitment has no sustainability.
Jesus, thank you for your commitment to us. Without it, we would have all been destroyed long ago. Thank you also that you delight in us. I pray that, as your people, you would teach us about commitment, and I pray that we would come to know that you delight in us and that through BOTH of these things, we will come to see both you more clearly and our identity in you. I pray that BOTH of these things would help us to see & understand how deep & wide & high & long is the love of Christ. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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